Okay, thanks for the lift.
Where you going to look for him?
I don't know, but if I find a pink Cadillac,
he'll be around somewhere.
So long.
Who's that?
It's Lon.
Hi, Lonnie. I'm making chili.
But if you want breakfast, I'll come out.
No, thanks.
Daisy, you seen my Uncle Hud?
I chicken-fried him
a steak last night, about 7:00.
Haven't seen him since.
All right.
Daisy, I'm taking two doughnuts.
Okay, honey.
Just leave a dime on the counter.
All right.
It's 26 after 6:00
on a Thursday, and 71 degrees in the good ol' summertime.
On the {y:i}Bobby Don Brewer Show.
Must have had quite a brawl in here last night.
I had Hud in here last night is what I had.
Sure looks it.
Mr. Larker!
Hey, there, Mr. Larker!
Hey, there, Lon!
You gonna rodeo this year, Lon?
Not me. I ain't looking to get my stomach stepped on.
What you doing in town this early?
Trying to run down Hud.
Hud? Didn't I see that big Cadillac car of his
parked right down the street?
Pretty sure I did.
I don't know if I'd go
disturbing him, if I was you.
Well, I ain't dying to, but I've been told to get him.
Hud?
Honcho...
I just hope for your sake that this house is on fire.
Well, I'm sorry to roust you out, Hud,
but we got trouble at the ranch.
Well, you've got trouble right here, bub.
I was just getting nicely tucked in.
You come tiptoeing through the tulips.
Granddad wants you, and he said right now.
Oh, he said, "right now"?
Well, do you think maybe
it would be all right with my old daddy
if I stopped to button up my shirt?
Oh, come on, will you, Hud?
You got me out of the wrong side of bed this morning.
Don't go snapping at my heels.
Just liable to turn around and bite you.
Hud?
Thank you, honey.
Hey. Hi, Joe.
Which one of you two
is coming out of my house at 6:00 in the morning?
I asked you a question. Which one, damn it?
Well, I hate to have to tell you,
seeing it's my own nephew,
but it's this snot-nosed kid here.
Been lookin' for him all night.
Just flushed him out a couple of minutes ago.
-I'll kill the little punk. -Oh, now, Joe...
-Just let me at that kid. -Wait a minute.
-I'll kill him, I'll kill him. -Now Joe, you know
you got sugar diabetes. Just take it easy.
I'll handle this thing for you.
I don't need any help from you.
I can do it myself. Now, you get out of my way.
Now, Joe, you can't afford to get worked-up, buddy boy.
I ain't gonna let that kid get away...
I'll lower his temperature some, I promise you.
All right, hotshot.
You and I are gonna finish this little discussion
behind the woodshed.
Thank you. Thanks a whole lot.
Relax.
Be able to charge a stud fee
by the time that story gets around town.
Yeah, if I'm still alive.
I could have gotten hurt back there, you know that?
So could I.
Ain't it lucky you were handy?
Well, maybe you ought to take me along as a regular thing.
The pace would kill you, sonny.
And now that the dust has settled,
what's so red-hot important
that my daddy has to drag me back on my day off?
Wants to ask your advice about something.
Ask me?
He hasn't asked me about anything in 15 years.
Just work out there from the shoulders down, myself.
You gonna be able to make it all day,
after a night like you put in?
At a hundred years old like him,
I don't need a week's sleep to be fresh.
He can't help being an old man, Hud.
Boy, you sure do drive this thing, don't you?
That'll be Hud.
He's parked right in my flower bed.
Good morning, Hud.
Morning.
I'm sorry to cut into your time off.
Lonnie, close that screen door.
We're getting a lot of flies in here.
Well, I see the house is still standing,
and you're pouring coffee in your saucer, as usual.
How come you pushed the panic button on me?
We come up with a dead heifer in the night.
Is that what you dragged me back here for? A dead cow?
I'm kinda worried about this one.
She wasn't cut or crippled-looking.
No swellin' on her.
Was there any Johnson grass or milkweed around?
Nothing. This may be something I ought to know about.
Jose and Jesse are out there now, keeping off the buzzards.
Lon, stay out of those berries.
They're going in the pie.
Well, let's not stand around here till dinnertime.
I got other things to do today.
Watch that cigarette ash.
It's going in the pot.
I'll go bring the pickup around.
How come you're always
running your car over my zinnias?
I've been trying to get
those things to come up for two weeks.
Don't plant 'em where I park.
You're cheerful this morning.
Missy, your job is to keep house,
not worry about my disposition.
Frying pan's still on.
Want a couple of eggs?
Or did you have breakfast in bed?
Nope. I didn't quite get around to breakfast.
Morning, boys.
Mr. Bannon.
Morning, Mr. Bannon.
Pretty hard to keep them birds away.
Had to use a flashlight most of the night.
Ah, look at them buzzards.
They'll be back.
You couldn't scare 'em off with artillery.
I wish you wouldn't do that, Hud.
They keep the country clean.
Besides, there's a law against killing buzzards.
Well, I always say the law was meant to be interpreted
in a lenient manner.
And that's what I try to do.
Sometimes I lean to one side of it.
Sometimes I lean to the other.
I don't like to break the law
on my place, Hud.
Well, she ain't gonna sit up and tell us herself.
Well, what do you think, Hud?
I don't know.
She looks clean to me.
Well, something killed her.
I think I'll call up the state vet.
He might know.
Well, what for?
This is our land.
I don't want any government men on it--
any time, any place, anywhere.
This ain't nothing.
Just leave her lay. Let the buzzards have her.
No, I don't believe I will.
Before I go to bed, I'll call the government man
and ask him to come out and take a look at her.
Yeah, that's the stuff.
Bring some jellybean in here
to tell you how to run your own business.
Only don't ask me what I think from now on.
I'd like for you and Lon to stay out here for a while.
I'll take these boys back with me
so they can snooze a little.
Lon, you take that water bag so you won't parch.
Honcho, why don't you sit up with our sick friend here?
I got a healthy one in town that won't wait.
Hyah!
Come on, hyah.
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Boy, it's a good thing you showed up.
We blew a tire on the pickup,
and I got to get this stuff back for dinner.
Need any help, there, Jesse?
I'm all right, Hud. Thanks.
You think your hand would fall off
if you opened the door?
You pick up my beer?
Two six-packs.
That ought to see you till tomorrow.
Keeping count on me?
I keep tripping over those empties,
I know that.
Boy, somebody in this car smells of Chanel No. 5,
and it isn't me-- I can't afford it.
Well, you sure weren't riding the range
this afternoon, were you?
I sure wasn't.
No.
I just wish I knew where some gals
get the time during the day.
I don't know-- by the time I get through
scrubbing the kitchen floor, cleaning out the bathtub
and hanging up the clothes...
They just drop everything, honey.
I suppose it does beat housework.
Want an orange?
No.
I'll peel it for you.
No, thanks.
H-Hey, look, it says "Florida" on it.
We grow 'em right here in Texas,
and then they send 'em in all the way from Florida.
That makes sense, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Oh, uh, the checker at the A&P market,
he said it's Truman Peters' wife you're seeing.
Is that what he says?
Mm-hmm.
Uh, he says she's got a bad temper.
He says her maid quit her 'cause she hollers so much.
Well, our maid's gonna get canned
'cause she's talking too much.
Hey, you want a Fig Newton?
Nope.
Just leave a little something
for dinner, will ya?
I don't believe it.
You're still eating bread?
After I gave you steak and flour gravy
and hominy and fried okra and onions
and hot rolls?
Well, it looked like a lot when we set down,
but it sure melted away.
Hud didn't want any dinner?
He's prettying up.
Said he'd eat later.
What's for dessert?
You think a big freezer full
of peach ice cream would hold you?
Boy, I've been waiting all winter long
for those locker-plaid Alberta peaches.
Oh, is that what you've been waiting
all winter for, sugar?
How 'bout those peachy pinups
you keep hidden in with your shorts and socks?
That's my private drawer.
You stay out of there, Alma.
I'm a girl, honey.
They don't do a thing for me.
I'll dish up the ice cream, Mr. Bannon.
You have it on the front porch. It's cooler.
That'll be fine, Alma.
Go on, before you wet your didie.
Alma!
Alma.
Yeah?
Alma!
Yeah!
Give me a clean, white shirt.
Boy, you're real big
with the "please" and "thank you," aren't you?
Please get up off your lazy butt
and get me a clean, white shirt. Thank you.
Had a little trouble
getting the lipstick out of this one.
Just try the brand you're wearing.
Maybe it'll wash out easier.
Let's not.
Look, you ain't getting any younger.
What are you saving it for?
The tabs are in the collar.
Hear the whippoorwill?
I think there's two of them.
You know, I've never seen
one of those birds in my whole life.
All I do is hear them calling across the flat.
What are you thinking about, Lon?
Oh, I don't know.
Just looking up ahead, I guess.
You know, to what's coming.
Thinking about your worries and your ambitions, are you?
Yeah, that,
having a car of my own to tear around in,
and girls.
Well, I expect you'll get your share of what's good,
and a boy like you deserves it.
Hey, it's getting late.
Boy, my daddy sure looks like his collar was choking him.
Those were his Sunday best.
I don't remember him any.
I do.
You don't carry a picture of Hud around with you, do you?
No, I don't.
But he's your son, same as my dad was.
Yep, he is.
What are you holding against him, Granddad?
He knows, and you don't need to.
Here you go.
Ah.
Thanks.
Ain't you having any?
A little too many calories.
I'm trying to lose a couple of pounds.
Listen, Mr. Bannon, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna leave those dishes till later.
I just gotta get off these feet.
The kitchen's your department, Alma.
Yeah, I've seen enough of it for today.
Hud, are you planning on going back to town tonight?
Well, I didn't get washed up
to sit on the front porch and listen to the frogs mate.
I'd like for you
to make it back here before morning.
The vet'll be here early.
All right.
It's pretty good. Peachy.
Oh, you can't get much air through this nylon.
Well, you ought to go around
in a sarong, Alma, like they do in the South Seas.
Oh, yeah, that'd be a lot of laughs.
You're half native already.
I haven't seen you in a pair of shoes
since you come to work here.
Oh, I wore 'em once.
I've things to get married in-- black satin pumps.
I don't have 'em anymore or the man either.
I'm going to get to town.
Alma, you want to blow some foam off of some beer?
No, thanks.
I'm going to get up out of this swing.
Set some biscuits, go to bed.
I'll settle for half that action.
I'll go with you, Hud.
Well, what big deal you got lined up, sport?
A snow cone or something?
No, I just thought
I'd catch a ride with you, that's all.
All right, come on, let's make tracks.
You didn't need me for anything, did you, Granddad?
No. No, you go on, if you like.
Just be careful.
You drive, sport.
What was that all about?
It's a story I'll tell you someday when I'm drunk.
Come on, gig this thing a little, will you?
Eh, it's a lonesome old night, isn't it?
Ain't they all.
Boy, I love that sound.
Goes right through me.
It scares the hell out of the cattle.
Know what trains always make me think about?
No, but I got a strong feeling you're going to tell me.
I guess I just like 'em, that's all.
Keys.
Well, golly.
Boy, just look at that Las Vegas saddle.
You couldn't lift that hunk of junk
on a horse with a crane.
Yeah, it is pretty noisy.
Where you think you're going?
-I'm just tagging along. -Not with me, you ain't.
You go tie on a couple of Dr Peppers.
I'll see ya.
Hey, come up here and have a drink with us!
Come on, now!
Hi, Mr. Kirby.
Hi.
Read that one?
Yeah, twice.
It's about the best book you ever had
on your paperback stand.
Pretty steamy, ain't it?
Oh, I don't know.
People in it seem a lot like the ones I see.
Did you read the part
where the sergeant gets her for the first time?
Yeah, I read that part.
Hi.
I sure have seen an awful lot of you
for one night.
I'm just headed for the square, is all.
Where are you headed?
Well, just to keep you up-to-date,
I am making my way to Mrs. Reuben Fletcher's house.
I don't think that's a house
you're likely to have heard very much about.
Well, I've heard some.
I am out of my three- cornered pants, you know.
I have been for some time.
How old are you?
Fantan-- a fast 17.
Boy, when I...
When I was your age,
I couldn't get enough of anything.
That was the summer you were born.
Your ma died...
and your daddy was feeling a little wild about things.
He bought us a '27 Chevy.
Kept it tied together with baling wire,
hit every honky-tonk in the country.
I don't know which we run the hardest--
that car or them country girls
who came to them dances.
Boy! We do-si-do'd and chased a lot
of girlish butts around that summer.
Now, I wouldn't mind going that route myself.
Come on along.
No, I don't think so.
All right.
Hey, wake up.
Come on, Lonnie.
Open your eyes.
You going to stay here till dinnertime?
What do you want?
I want you to get up.
I can't stay here
rasslin' around with you all morning.
Why not? I kind of like it.
Yeah, I bet you do.
That's enough out of you.
Now, come on, get up.
Can't do that, Alma.
Are you sleeping in the raw again?
Mm-hmm.
Listen, I got two pair
of nice, ironed cotton pajamas in there.
How come you're not using them?
I don't know, they strangle me.
Mm-hmm. Come on.
What do you sleep in?
In my own room, with the door locked.
You ever wear any of those little, uh, shorty things?
What kind of question is that?
Just wonder.
Does your mind usually run in that direction?
Yeah, it seems to.
Boys with impure thoughts come out in acne.
Did you know that?
Oh, that's all bull, Alma.
Keep it up, you'll see.
Hurry up.
The vet's coming this morning.
Well, let's get away from this stink.
I got all I need here.
Mr. Bannon...
I'm going to ask you to get your cattle together,
all of them.
I'm going to have to make an inspection.
An inspection for what?
Well, for what killed that heifer.
I hope I'm wrong, but I'm very much afraid
you got the worst kind of trouble
a cattle man can have.
I think that cow died of foot-and-mouth disease.
Oh, me.
I never thought it'd be anything like that.
Well, let's have it.
What are we in for?
Well, y'all get your herds together.
We're going to have to take some samples.
Bring in a few healthy calves
and a couple of horses from outside,
infect them artificially,
and then...
just wait and see what happens.
I'll tell you what'll happen--
they turn up sick, you kill them.
That's right, isn't it, mister?
If the calves turn up sick and the horses don't,
it's foot-and-mouth-- you got to.
The last bad outbreak in the United States,
the government had to kill over 77,000 head of cattle,
plus that many sheep and goats.
Even 20,000 deer.
It's a terrible thing.
I just bought me 20 head of Mexican cows down South.
Could they be the bad ones?
Uh, could be.
If there were, you're going to have to get rid
of every cow that's been in contact with them.
Well, you're talking about all the animals I own.
I know I am.
I hope I'm wrong.
I hope it turns out to be something else,
so we won't ever have to talk about it again.
Looks like I landed in the wrong place again.
Uh, you guys get on. There's some fence to fix.
Yeah, how 'bout that?
You going to let them shoot your cows
out from underneath you
on account of a schoolbook disease?
You getting that old, Homer?
I wonder if a long quarantine wouldn't satisfy him.
You think they'd agree to that?
Yeah, they don't have to agree to nothing--
they're the law.
You can agree with them till hell freezes over
for all the good it'll do you.
Yeah, but that Mr. Burris seemed like a reasonable man.
You think they'd come in here and liquidate?
Hell, yeah, they'll liquidate, you got what they say you got.
Now, you look a-here.
You've had 24 of my 34 years working for you on this ranch,
and, Daddy, you have had top-grade cheap labor.
I shoveled manure out of barns for you.
You got my calluses, for what?
Your blessings the day you die?
Now, damn it, I want out of this spread
what I put into it.
Well, you got a proposal to make to me, Hud?
You get on the telephone tonight
and sell every breed cow you own.
They haven't got a chain on you yet.
Would that be your way to getting out of a tight?
Well, I can ship the whole herd out
before they begin the test.
You mean, try and pass bad stuff off on my neighbors,
who wouldn't even know what they was getting?
Eh, you don't know it's bad stuff.
Aw, ship them out of state,
unload them up north before the news gets out.
And take a chance on starting an epidemic
in the entire country.
Why, this whole country is run on epidemics!
Where you been?
Epidemics are big business--
price-fixing, crooked TV shows,
income tax finagling, souped up expense accounts.
How many honest men you know?
You take the sinners away from the saints,
you're lucky to end up with Abraham Lincoln.
So I say, let's us put our bread
in some of that gravy while it is still hot.
You're an unprincipled man, Hud.
Well, don't let that fuss you.
I mean, you've got enough for both of us.
This afternoon's been a regular bitch.
You out of poop?
I'm just having a breather.
Well, why don't you go back to the ranch
and grab yourself a nap?
No, I'll hold up my end of it.
Yeah, I guess you would.
Granddad!
Found your longhorns out near Idia Ridge.
Government's going to have a hard time
trying to inspect 'em.
Those big horns'll never go through a chute.
There ain't many left in the country, are there, Granddad?
No, they're dying out.
I just keep 'em for old time's sake.
Keep 'em to remind me of how things was.
Everything we had come from their hides--
our furniture, our ropes, our-our clothes, our hats.
Granddad... let's turn 'em loose.
No, Lon, that wouldn't be the thing to do.
They got to go along with the rest.
Granddad.
Why, thank you, Lon.
I shouldn't have brought you out here tonight,
not after the day you put in.
Oh, if the picture's any good,
I'll wake up, don't you worry.
Looks like you're the only one around here
who ain't got somebody whose knee you can pinch.
Oh, I think I can stand it.
You wouldn't think they'd pay 65 cents
to come here and do it.
They can go up in the hayloft for nothing.
Come on, you miners 49ers.
Let's all join in and sing that old favorite, "Clementine."
Just follow the bouncing ball.
{y:i}Oh, my darling, {y:i}oh, my darling...
{y:i}Oh, my darling Clementine
{y:i}Thou are lost {y:i}and gone forever
{y:i}Dreadful sorry, Clementine
{y:i}In the cavern, in the canyon
{y:i}Excavating for a mine
{y:i}Dwelt a miner 49er
{y:i}And his daughter, Clementine
{y:i}Oh, my darling, {y:i}oh, my darling
{y:i}Oh, my darling, Clementine
{y:i}Thou art lost {y:i}and gone forever
{y:i}Dreadful sorry, Clementine.
You going to get your mouth around all that?
Going to try.
Hi, Hud.
How are you, sport?
Is that Truman Peters' wife with Hud?
I think so.
Want me to call him over?
No, no, just leave him to his own business.
Got a half a buck?
Okay, come on on back.
Aren't you going to give me the change?
Hey, hey.
Well, let's make a party out of this.
Daddy, this not too natural blonde here
is Mrs. Truman Peters.
How do you do?
How do you do, Mr. Bannon?
"Wild Horse" Homer Bannon, Lily.
That's what he used to be known as.
And this kind of gangly youth over there is my nephew Lon.
You may have just noticed,
but my daddy hasn't asked us to sit down.
That's 'cause he doesn't want to socialize with me.
He's a little fussy about the company he keeps.
Yeah, you're a married woman, Lily.
That doesn't go down very well with him.
He's a man of high principals and what have you.
He doesn't believe in any loose living at all.
Isn't that right, Homer?
Granddad.
Hey, Homer, you okay?
Get me... get me home, boy.
Roll down that window a little, will you, Hud?
Ah, that's good.
The place back there seemed a little short of air.
Maybe you just got
a little too much sun today.
Well, whatever.
No need to pose such a long face about it.
I feel better now.
When we get home,
I'm going to fix you some salipadicha.
Yeah, yeah, that'll settle me right down.
He dropped right off.
He's beginning to look
kind of worn out, isn't he?
Sometimes I forget how old he is.
I guess I just don't want to think about it.
Time you started.
Well, I know he's gonna die someday.
I know that much.
He is.
Makes me feel like somebody dumped me into a cold river.
Happens to everybody.
Horses, dogs, men.
Nobody gets out of life alive.
I'll give you a hand upstairs.
Lon'll take care of me.
Suit yourself.
Good night, Hud.
Thanks for the game, boys.
You can have another shot at me next payday.
You got a cigarette?
Yeah.
Then I wish you wouldn't keep me
hanging around on the front porch.
Makes me feel like I'm selling something.
All right, come on in.
They're a little squashed.
It's all right, they'll do.
Well, I see you got things fixed up some.
I try.
Looks pretty good.
Except your sweet potato plant over here has got the blight.
I can't seem to get one started.
Well, they need a lot of tender loving care, honey.
Same as the rest of us.
I'll keep it in mind.
Could I have a match?
Well, what do we got here?
"Jiffy...
portable hair dyer."
"...triple screen."
Hmm.
Automatic toaster.
What have you been doing?
A little rustling down at the five and dime?
I go in for those prize contests.
"How Shiny Shampoo changed my life,
in 20 words or less."
You know, they give free two-week trips to Europe.
But I end up with the fountain pens
and the Japanese binoculars.
Yeah, won me a turkey raffle once,
but it was fixed.
I got to be pretty friendly with one
of 'em gals picking the numbers.
It figures.
How much you take the boys for tonight?
20 dollars and some change.
You're a dangerous woman to have around.
I'm a good poker player.
You're a good housekeeper.
You're a good cook, you're a good laundress.
What else you good at?
At taking care of myself.
You shouldn't have to, a woman looks like you do.
Oh, that's what my ex-husband used to tell me...
before he took my wallet and my gasoline credit card
and left me stranded in a downtown motel
in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
What'd you do to make him take to the hills?
You wear your curlers to bed or something?
Ed's a gambler.
He's probably up at Vegas or Reno right now,
dealing at night,
losing it all back in the daytime.
Oh, well, a man like that sounds no better than a heel.
Aren't you all?
Honey, don't go shooting all the dogs
'cause one of them's got fleas.
I was married to Ed for six years.
Only thing he was ever good for
was to scratch my back where I couldn't reach it.
You still got that itch?
Off and on.
Well, let me know when it gets to botherin' you.
Hep, hep, hep, hep, hep!
Ya! Giddy! Ya! Ya!
Ya! Giddy! Ya!
Ya! Hep, hep, hep, hep!
Hep, hep! Ho!
Now, what we're doing, Mr. Bannon,
is injecting these cows and horses
with specimens that are taken from your herd.
In three to six days,
we should know what we want to know.
Ya!
Move on in there!
Get in that chute!
Move on in there!
Ah-ha-ha-ha! Hey!
Ho!
Go over there! Ya!
You all right, Lon?
She...
she kicked you into the fence.
You skinned your head a little.
Boy, you caught a lick!
Better get back to work.
Boys'll be on you for a week,
you quit 'cause you dented your head a little.
No need to rush him.
You all right, Lon?
Mm...
Whoa!
Oh, you've had it, fantan.
Now, get him to bed.
All right, Jack, back to work.
You know, all this time, I thought you were skinny!
You weigh a ton.
Can't seem to get my head on straight.
Get in there, cow.
Hud, I think I'm going to lose my breakfast.
Not over me, you ain't.
You hold your fire till we get to the house.
Sugar, you're white as a sheet.
Alma, you're getting flour all over me.
What happened?
Ah, one of the cows cuddled up to him.
-Ow! -Shouldn't a doctor look at him?
Pay five bucks
and some iodine and aspirin, he'll mend.
Well, that's about as far as I go.
I draw the line at bedpans.
Thanks, Hud.
You can goldbrick for the rest of the day.
Just don't try to stretch it into two.
Here, let's get those boots off.
Cold lemonade.
Here.
Oh, come on.
They're only lemon seeds.
Mmm.
That better?
You ought to doze off now.
Gee, Alma, you're cool.
You smell of lemon.
Alma?
What is it, sugar?
You're really beautiful.
Oh, sure I am.
You're one of the best people there ever was.
You're good to me, Alma.
In fact, you're good, period.
You be good, too. Get some sleep.
Morning, Granddad.
Well, how are you today, Lonnie?
Good, real good.
Boy, have I been sawing wood up there.
Looks like I slept 'round the clock.
You know, I feel almost like working,
for a change!
Well, what do you got for me?
Patch a little fence?
Pull up some weeds?
Work a few calves?
Well, I don't guess we'll do anything much.
I don't see any sense in wasting work
until I find out about my cattle.
You bet.
Yeah, we're just gonna roll over and play dead
and let 'em shovel dirt in our faces.
If I don't get a clean bill of health
on my cattle, we are just about dead.
Dead broke.
We've been breeding and crossbreeding this beef
all our lives to get us the best stock in the country.
We're going to end up with the government
paying us four bits on the dollar for 'em.
Poor but honest.
That's us.
Well, we ain't sure of anything yet.
We're just gonna have to sit and wait it out.
Don't get sores on your butt doing it.
I can do without that noise, Lon.
Now, go stretch your legs a little, will ya?
Well, where's that bottle?
Had myself a bottle of Jack Daniel's
stashed in that cupboard in there.
You drank it.
When?
Instead of dinner, Wednesday night.
Don't remember.
If you think I've been nipping at it,
I don't drink anything but Tokay wine.
Yeah, I bet you keep your little finger crooked
while you're doing it.
Well, why don't you go stick your head
in the water trough and sober up for lunch?
Now don't you find me in control of myself?
Hate to see you walk a straight line.
That's easy.
I don't like setting passes.
We'll ease into it, then.
There's another one coming up on your right.
Don't you ever ask?
Well, the only question I ever ask any woman
is, "What time is your husband coming home?"
What's keeping you?
You're over the age of consent, ain't you?
Way over.
Let's get our shoelaces untied, what do you say?
I'd say I've been asked
with a little more finesse in my time.
Yeah...
Hmm?
I wouldn't want to come on crude. No, ma'am.